Beautiful Vulnerability
by JennBenson
Summary: "One of the sexiest things is a strong woman, made weak by love. Surrendering herself to the vulnerability. Be protective of that because I am telling you, that is sacred. Honor her by honoring her beautiful vulnerability." JM Storm...Tuckson One Shot


**_Tuckson One-Shot while I try to develop a third installment of my TucksoNoahLie series. Enjoy!_**

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 ** _"_** ** _One of the sexiest things is a strong woman, made weak by love. Surrendering herself to the vulnerability. Be protective of that because I am telling you, that is sacred. Honor her by honoring her beautiful vulnerability." JM Storm_**

Ed Tucker was sitting at the counter, sipping a bourbon, while Olivia slept soundly back in her bedroom. As he looked at the flashing numbers on the microwave, he realized it was nearing 4am and he had yet to realize how exhausting the day had been. Ed just couldn't close his eyes just yet, needing to make sure his girlfriend was free from the nightmares that were sure to plague her following the Joe Utley ordeal. Ed downed the rest of his drink as he thought back to the previous morning when he and Olivia were waking up after a night of love making, unaware of the trouble that loomed…

 _"_ _Good morning," Ed said softly, as he kissed Olivia's lips and ran his finger tips up and down her spine. She just grinned up at him sleepily from her place against his chest._

 _"_ _G'morning," she said, almost shyly, but then leaned up for another kiss. "Last night was…amazing."_

 _"_ _It was, wasn't it," he said, realizing that he could lose himself in her deep brown eyes forever. He and Olivia had been seeing each other, in secret, for a couple of months now and she had just gotten comfortable enough to let him stay the night. It was Ed's new favorite routine: waking up to a gorgeous, and totally natural Olivia Benson, maybe making love to her again, then heading to the kitchen to make up waffles for Noah while she showered. Often Noah would wake up and wander into the kitchen while Ed mixed up the batter, rubbing his little eyes, and asking to be picked up. Ed, of course, dropped all of his current tasks to cuddle the boy to him and fix him some milk. It was almost as if taking care of Noah came just as naturally to him as his growing love for the young tot's mother. So as he continued to gaze into Olivia's eyes, his mind began to work towards their morning agenda. "You want to shower, and I'll go to work on coffee and breakfast?"_

 _"_ _Mmmmmm," she said, tucking her head into his neck and curling herself closer to his body. "Yes. But just one more minute of this…"_

 _"_ _Anything you want," Ed said, as he settled back down into the pillows and held Olivia tightly to him. "Anything you want…"_

Ed ran his hand over his face, trying to shake himself out of the flashback he was seeming to have, but it was fruitless. Between the exhaustion and the bourbon, he was forced back down memory lane and unable to stop it…

 _"_ _Hi, Cap'n," little Noah said as he padded into the kitchen in his robot footie pajamas. His hair was sticking every which way and his thumb was in his mouth, but it was clear he wanted to be picked up. Ed finished cracking the eggs into his waffle mix, washed his hands, then scooped the little boy up and sighed as he settled his head on his shoulder._

 _"_ _You sleep good, bud?" He asked, as if this were the most natural thing in his life. Going back to work on mixing the batter with one hand, he felt Noah nod against him._

 _"_ _Uh huh," he said. "Milk?"_

 _"_ _Absolutely, bud," Ed said, satisfied that the batter was ready for him to pour in the heating waffle maker, he set about fixing up Noah's milk in a spill proof cup. "You wanna cuddle up and watch cartoons? Or sit on the counter and help me make the waffles?"_

 _"_ _I help make waffles, Cap'n," he said, appearing to be more awake and ready to take his place on the kitchen island. Ed plopped him down, making sure he was back far enough so he wouldn't fall off, handed him the milk, then went back to the breakfast task._

 _"_ _You want strawberries or blueberries on your waffles?"_

 _"_ _Boo-berries," he said._

 _"_ _Anything you want, Noah," Ed said with a fondness that surprised him. These two were quickly becoming his top priority in life, and while that would usually unsettle him, he felt an incredible peace come over as he plopped a cooked waffle on a plate and moved to make another before reaching for the blueberries in the refrigerator._

Ed took another quick glance at the time, having shaken himself out of his memory for the time being, and decided to go lay down next to Olivia for a little bit longer. As he padded into the bedroom, stripping back down to his boxers, he turned the monitor so he would be able to see when Noah was stirring and crawled in behind Olivia. He felt her take a breath and roll over, immediately settling her body into his. Ed just wrapped his arms around her, trying to quell the surprise in his mind about the seemingly natural way Olivia would gravitate towards him. Though, maybe it shouldn't surprise him, he thought. Over the last few months she had allowed him into her life, her bed, her mind, and now her heart. She was finally allowing him to be the rock that she so desperately needed in her life. He moved his hand to brush her dark locks our of her face, kissed her forehead, and tried to close his eyes for a bit, however the memories just kept flooding.

 _Speeding down 8th Avenue, Ed had to remind himself to keep breathing and to keep his head in the game. Ten minutes ago, he received one of the most terrifying phone calls of his life. Olivia, his Olivia, was being held hostage in a townhouse. As he tried to talk himself down and back into Captain Tucker mode, he couldn't help but thank God that the woman who was so strong for everyone else, allowed him to see the other side. Not only at home, but now in this situation. She wanted him. She requested him. And would take a bullet himself before he let her down._

 _He finally pulled up to the scene and took a brief second to reign in the Ed Tucker who was in Olivia Benson's bed that morning, and replace him with Captain Tucker of IAB, who was needed to help get a Lieutenant and civilians out alive._

 _"_ _What's the latest," Ed barked, walking up to the scene with his jacket on and his jaw steeled. To everyone else, he was the usual hard and gruff IAB Captain. But on the inside, he was on the verge of coming apart. He began to listen as he was filled in on the latest, but kept his eyes on the townhouse in front of him. He had to get her out alive. It was not an option. Once he was caught up to speed, he took over the communication between HNT and Olivia. Assuming that would keep him the calmest, being the one to speak with her, the first time he heard her voice come over the speaker he had to fight to keep upright. Her voice. Her tone. To anyone else, she was completely calm and in control. The usual Lieutenant Benson, fearless and confident on the outside, was terrified and vulnerable on the inside and Ed could tell that immediately. As they began to speak back and forth, they fell into a trusted routine. She trusted him to get her out of there, and he trusted her to give him what he needed to be successful in that endeavor. But it didn't stop him from recognizing the weight of the moment: Olivia Benson was allowing herself to belong to him. Voluntarily, and of her own free will, she wanted him. And once he got her out of there, he was determined to spend the rest of his life proving that she made the right decision._

 _"_ _Copy that, Lieutenant," he said, voice conveying total professionalism._

Back in real time, Ed carefully stroked Olivia's hair as she began to mumble and bat her eyes a little bit. She was clearly trying to wake herself up, but her strangled moans gave away the pain she was in.

"Liv," Ed whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I'm right here. It's okay."

"I feel like I've been hit by a mack-truck," she said, still not lifting her head from his chest and tightening her arms around his body.

"I bet," he said. "Do you need an icepack?"

She finally lifted her head a bit, and Ed winced as he saw how swollen her face was under her eye and down her cheekbone. He lightly ran his index finger along the darkening bruise and let out a breath. "I'm so sorry," he said.

Olivia just shook her head slowly and gave him a small smile. "Nothing to be sorry about," she said softly. "You got me out of there…"

"No, I just listened to you," he insisted. "You got yourself out."

Olivia just rested her head back down on his chest and sighed. Ed resumed running his hands up and down her back, hoping to offer a little comfort. He began to think back, yet again, to the day before…

 _"_ _I see movement!" One of the officers radioed, and Ed's eyes shot over to the door of the townhouse. After what seemed like hours, but was really seconds, he saw Olivia being lead out of the door, clutching two young children to her and trying not to wince at the gun pointed at her head. Ed gave her a quick glance, noticing traces of blood and bruising on her face. Her clothes seemed relatively in tact, though that didn't reassure him all that much, but what really unsettled him was the look in her eyes. The Olivia Benson he knew before would have been fearless in that moment. Ready to lay her life down for the kids she was currently protecting. And while, again, to outsiders she seemed to have the same determination, Ed Tucker knew that wasn't the case. He could see past her firm brown eyes and deeper into the pools of fear swirling behind them. She was terrified, and she was letting him know that._

 _It was as if time stood still for him, as he heard orders being barked and saw slight, scurried movement all around him. At some point, he was even sure he contributed to the orders, but if anyone asked what he said he would have no recollection. His entire focus was on the beautiful creature in front of him. The woman who had revealed her soul to him, her insecurities, and trusted him to love her anyways. And as the situation progressed, and became seemingly more dire, his resolve to stay professional threatened to crumble._

 _Keep it together, Ed. She's counting on you._

 _He then looked up, met her eyes, and understood what she was about to do. Taking a deep breath and holding it, he watched in both hope and horror as she moved to take a swing at the man behind her. As soon as she moved, he heard the gunshots and could no longer contain himself._

 _"_ _LIEUTENANT!" he yelled, still having no idea how he managed to use her title as opposed to her name, running straight for her not willing to wait another second to touch her body. He finally reached her and pulled her slightly into his side, gripping her forearm and wrapping his other arm around her waist to steady her on her feet. "I've gotcha," he whispered, so only she could hear._

 _"_ _It's over, Lieutenant," a voice said from the other side of her. That was when Ed registered that Carisi had also reached them and was helping Olivia on her other side. Ever grateful that she had a team behind her to support her, Ed nodded at the other man and then returned his focus back to his girlfriend who seemed to be half-dazed and half-distraught._

 _"_ _Where's Noah?" she gasped out and Carisi tried to assure her that the little boy was just fine. But Ed knew that would be enough. She wanted him with her. Luckily, Carisi got the hint and informed her the Lucy would be bringing him shortly._

 _"_ _Just, focus on you right now," Ed whispered to her in an attempt to get her to calm down and realize he was there to take care of things. He was stunned as she stopped and turned to look at him. Was she about to reveal their secret? His brain wasn't computing, but he didn't care. If Olivia needed him to hold her or kiss her in front of these people, then he would. Job be damned. But, true to form, she reigned herself in and just spoke her thanks._

 _"_ _You did great in there," he said, kicking himself for his stupid response, but she had rendered him speechless at the moment. As they made their way to the ambulance, he rubbed her back lightly and out of sight of spying eyes. "How about you ride with me to the hospital?"_

 _"_ _Please," she said, in a soft whisper. Ed just nodded and signaled for the medics and other officers to back off, and led Olivia away from the turmoil and towards his car._

 _"_ _I've gotcha…"_

Ed heard himself whisper that same phrase, "I've gotcha", in real time as Olivia try to get herself back to sleep in his arms. He heard her let out a little sigh, so he pulled her more tightly to him and asked his question again.

"Do you want an icepack for that eye?"

"Maybe…" she muttered softly. "But hurry back."

Ed affirmed he would be right back, while his heart nearly burst at just how clingy Olivia was being. He knew the reasons behind it, but just the mere fact she was clinging to him meant the world in that moment. It meant that she was his and he was hers, all of their imperfections and scars didn't matter. So if she wanted him back quickly, then dammit he would deliver. He quickly tip-toed out to the kitchen, not bothering to turn a light back on, and grabbed the Cookie Monster gel pack from her freezer as he chuckled at the googly eyes before heading back to Olivia. Settling back down next to her, gently putting the ice pack onto her cheek bone, he rested his chin on the top of her head and began to think back to when the doctor finally allowed him back to see her after she was given a clean bill of health.

 _"_ _Hey," Olivia breathed out as Ed stepped slowly into her examination room. The nurse was just finishing up tending to her face and nodded at the Captain as she made a hasty exit. Ed, making sure the door had clicked shut, did a quick scan of the woman in front of him before quickly closing the distance between them and cupping her face lightly as he moved to stand between her legs._

 _"_ _Liv…" he whispered, searching her eyes and finally resting his forehead against hers as both of their eyes closed to relish in relief._

 _"_ _I'm okay," she said softly, refusing to move from the solace of his light embrace._

 _"_ _I know you are," he said, pulling back slightly but keeping the palm of his hands attached to her face. "But you don't have to be around me."_

 _At those words, a lone tear ran down Olivia's face and she closed her eyes briefly to try and ward off the residual fear from her ordeal._

 _"_ _Hey," Ed whispered, deciding to fully take her into his arms and cup the back of her head as she rested against his chest. "It's going to be okay. I'm gonna spring you from this joint, get you home to Noah, and then we can work on calming down okay?"_

 _"_ _Okay," she said, her voice sounding strained which just caused Ed to hold her just a bit tighter. He still hadn't been fully briefed on what had happened in that townhouse, and while he knew he could wait on all the details, there was one question that was terrorizing every part of his being._

 _"_ _Olivia, did he…" his voice trailed off, all of a sudden unable to even say the word. Instead he just gripped her hair and kissed the top of her head. Whatever her answer was, he wasn't going anywhere._

 _"_ _No…" she said, in an almost sob. "Not me…"_

 _Ed's heart shattered at the tone in her admission. He felt guilty for the relief he felt, given his newfound knowledge that the man had managed to rape someone esle in the townhouse, but he couldn't help it. He didn't touch Olivia; and to him that was all that mattered in that moment._

 _"_ _Okay," he said softly, still trying to soothe her. "Okay. Let's get you home."_

"Noah awake?" Olivia asked, head still tucked into Ed, and her eyes still closed.

"Not yet," he said, glancing over at the monitor. "Seems to be stirring though."

Olivia moaned out a bit as she stretched her body against his. She slowly rolled onto her back, taking over holding the icepack for Ed for a moment. He just turned on his side and began to lightly run his fingers across her stomach as he gazed at her.

"Whatcha wanna do today?" He asked in a whisper, fully prepared to do anything she asked of him.

"I just want to be with you and Noah," she said, removing the ice pack so she could look at him with both of her eyes.

"We aren't going anywhere, Olivia," he said, looking straight into her troubled brown eyes, trying to assure her that she would always have him as a foundation. She offered him a small smile which melted Ed Tucker into a puddle. He was certain he would never love anyone or anything more than he did Olivia Benson. As he pulled her body back into his, he sent a quick glance up towards whatever higher power may exist in the universe and thanked them for allowing this woman to open herself up to him. He made a promise, right then and there, that he would never let her down. He would guard and protect her body, her soul, her heart, and all that came with it, with every ounce of his strength until he took his last breath.

Kissing at the top of her head, and still keeping a close eye on the monitor for when Noah finally awoke from his deep slumber, he whispered the words he knew Olivia craved to hear throughout her entire life, and only just now opened herself up to with him.

"I've gotcha…"

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 ** _Yay? Nay? Thoughts? That's what the review button is for..._**


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